Twenty-five Fascinating Facts...

Fifth Week after the Epiphany

... about me. Yep, finally did it.

1. I cook a mean lasagna, but I hardly ever do it because I want to make three at a time, and decide that lasagna is somehow too expensive.
   
   
2. Except for the two month period that I lost it in my backpack, I wear my name tag at work all the time. You think it’s because I want to be helpful, but it’s really because I’m terribly narcissistic and think everybody should know my name.
   
   
3. One of my most surreal moments working at the bookstore was explaining to management that middle-aged Baptist women buy Beth Moore books, and that therefore we should stock them. Also, emo kids buy eyeliner, gamers have minty green skin, and the Pope is Catholic.
   
   
4. I take that back – the most surreal moments probably involved the ugly guy who was angry we didn’t have more/any books on “tantric sex” (sir, I don’t know what either of those things are, frankly), or the woman who demanded that Chris draw her a map to Barnes and Noble.
   
   
5. I really enjoy Science Fiction. Can’t stand Star Wars. I fell asleep in the cinema when I tried to watch the big re-releases in high school. I did watch a pirated copy of Episode I when I was in Kosovo, however. Couldn’t really follow it.
   
   
6. I love horror novels, especially short stories. I can’t stand anything in the Fantasy genre.
   
   
7. I’m an introvert, specifically an INTJ: the “jerk” type in the Myers-Briggs. I know what I know, and I know what I don’t know. I also know what you don’t know, which can make it really bad.
   
   
8. If I like a particular food, I could eat it for at least 7 meals in a particular week. I also chew each bite 32 times.
   
   
9. I once threatened to physically fight a roommate over a hygiene concern (no, not my hygiene). He moved out the next day.
   
   
10. I reject much of institutionalized Christianity, but sadly, I usually accept the really unpopular bits, and condemn the parts that most people really like. That’s okay, though. It’s really bad for them.
    
    
11. I have no independent taste in music or films. I watch, listen to, and generally enjoy whatever my friends tell me.
    
    
12. I get really nervous that I might end a sentence with a preposition… in public.
    
    
13. I’m rarely capable of hiding my emotional state. Especially when I think I’m playing things cool, people can read me like a book. It took me forever to discover this; Jim just told me one day, “I would love to play poker with you. You don’t have any unexpressed emotions.”
    
    
14. There are a few people in my life, that regardless of their faults, I would defend them in almost any situation: “Really? He buried a guy in cement after knocking over a liquor store? Hm. He must have had a good reason.”
    
    
15. My housemates and I rescued an old cat from the Humane Society in Summer 2007. The cat follows me around constantly and cries if I come home late. He meows constantly and annoys the piss out of all of us, but I can’t help but delight in a little critter that thinks about me all the time – could you? So much for my tough guy image. Ahem.
    
    
16. Every few months, somebody sits me down to (re)explain the concept of “tact,” and explains how it might be useful in a particular situation – sometimes with diagrams. I always respond with wide eyes and a smile, and vigorous nods of my head, but never have a clue what they’re talking about.
    
    
17. I was in a college play.
    
    
18. No man ever loved a dead woman like I love Flannery O’Connor.
    
    
19. I believe that much of the grave error in American religion stems from asking the wrong questions.
    
    
20. The broader I smile at you when you talk, the wronger you must be.
    
    
21. The people I trust the least are the people I never hear say “I’m sorry” to anyone.
    
    
22. I have no problems beginning twenty-five sentences in a row with the word “I.” I could have a problem, I think.
    
    
23. I was within a week of buying an engagement ring, once.
    
    
24. I broke my neck and my back during my senior year of college.
    
    
25. Sometimes I think my primary “ministry” to some people is to be an enacted parable of judgment. Demonstration to follow, so stay tuned.