Baptism of the Lord
Ours is a newly built subdivision, so I've been expecting Mormon missionaries to wander through these parts before much longer. I saw a couple of them on a nearby street the other day.
What do you do when Mormons come knocking at your door?
A couple years ago I stopped and talked with them, and they came back a couple more time before I went back to Georgetown that fall. As you might expect, I disputed the most basic things they said...
"See, you hold the book of Mormon in your hands and ask God to reveal to you whether the teachings of Joseph Smith are true."If I do invite them in for herbal tea and a chat, I promise to be better behaved this time. What do you do, and what would you like for me to do?
"Uh, you still haven't told me what the teachings of Joseph Smith are.
"He taught that the church should be one."
"Oh, I'm sure he and most popes would have something to talk about, then."
"You see, even the church at Galatia had already apostatized in Paul's time."
"Ooookay. So what's special about the church of Joseph Smith such that it's protected from the same kind of apostasy that claimed the churches of Peter, Paul, James and John?"
"..."
"Okay, so if God does tell me that the apparently vague and positive teachings of Joseph Smith are true, what will that look like?"
"Well, you'll get a good, peaceful feeling..."
"Is that like a peaceful, easy feeling? 'Cause I was thinking we could light up this roach and listen to the Eagles."
Technorati Tags: latter-day saints, mormons
Comments
9 comments:
I do not have time or energy to fool with 'em. I know, I know, baaad evangelist.
I'm with Alan, it's an exercise in futility.
An exercise in futility, perhaps, but it can be so much fun. Try this: have some pamplets on Roman Catholicism ready, especially tracts on Our Lady, and when you open your door, before they can speak, offer, "Can I give you some information on Roman Catholicism?"
Or here's a good conversation starter: "Have you accepted the BVM as Coredemptrix yet?" Follow with pamphlets.
It totally throws them off guard. Try it.
Jason, as you describe it, that does actually sound like a hoot. So Kyle, you gonna try Jason's ideas?
Ahahahahaha
Jason, you are my hero. Seriously. Yes, yes, yes.
Next stop, the Newman Center...
Julie, that's a good point...
The last time they came to my door, when they asked to leave some literature, I told them I'd take theirs if they'd take mine. Then I gave them some VBCC info. I imagine they did with mine what I did with theirs--threw it away...
Of course, this might be a prime opportunity to get out those Chick tracts you've been saving for a special occasion...
I keep United Church of Christ pamphlets for just that reason. I actually converted one of them once. He snuck into the back of my church about three weeks after he had been at my door. Came back two more weeks. He confessed that he had always thought Mormonism was a bunch of hooey and was looking for something more meaningful and that would accept him for who he was. Turns out he was gay (and damn cute).
This was in the days before I myself discovered the Truth of Anglo-Catholicism, or I'd have had real Tracts at the door to give him.
Hahahaha
Yes! That's wonderful.
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